Thu 23:30

Thursday, 16 September, 2010 23:30

Currently at lat/long: n37 23.032 e46 13.226

Hotel Darya (another one and this time, correct spelling), Maragheh, IR.

Not so long after sending the previous message the Irancell SIM decided it wasn't playing ball. The mobile number I'd been given by the family was switched off and the home phone was ringing unanswered. That was up 'til 5:30pm which might be quite reasonable. Then the SIM lost contact with the world and despite giving it another half hour I had to find somewhere to stay! That's a shame as they seemed a genuinely nice family who seemed very keen to host a bedraggled biker from England. I was more than willing to play my part.

So I legged it up the road here to Maragheh to try and beat sunset. And failed. Again. Not only did I have to suffer the "fluid" Iranian city driving but at night too. It's a little hard to describe but I'll have a go.

You drive on the right -- apart from the odd character who drives the other way up the inside. In effect anyone who has made the wrong turn and reverses back up to have another shot at the junction is also doing the same. It goes without saying that they reverse irrespective of the flow of traffic towards them. There's almost a "I was here first, you go figure" mentality.

Anyone joining from the left seems to have free reign to simply join and in most cases to continue half along any hard shoulder (otherwise simply along the right hand side) at a speed unrelated to the oncoming traffic flow. You, on the main carriageway are duty bound to avoid them by swerving suddenly or braking sharply. Anyone else is duty bound to avoid hitting you.

If it's a particularly tight turn then the joiner is free to pull onto the right hand lane (blocking it, obviously) and then edge forwards until enough people have screeched to a halt to allow them to turn completely onto the carriageway. They will then resume at a speed convenient to them.

U-turns are performed through any gap in the central reservation where there are generally no slip roads so anyone turning left (or doing a u-turn) brings their lane to a halt. In addition, in initiating the u-turn they will edge, say, half a bonnet into the oncoming traffic then stop in the hope that the oncoming traffic in turn stops and lets them out. Travelling towards something that has just butted into your lane is a sure way to start your swerving/braking manouever as described before.

"Roundabouts" (pairs of gaps in the central reservation) seem to be a free for all. If there's a gap and you can reach it then it's yours. You won't be the only one aiming for the gap so be very prepared to use someone else's gap before they use it. People will be signalling left across four lanes of traffic and butt into the more left hand lanes as they are able.

A favourite is to overtake then immediately pull across in front of the person you've just overtaken and come to a halt.

I've mentioned lanes. Those do not correspond to any road markings. A lane is the section of road that you are directing your vehicle down, wide enough for your vehicle, obviously. People in front and behind may not agree with your lane creation decision and will create their own lanes as they see suitable opportunities. Those may not, in the near future, allow room for your lane so you must be prepared to reassume space for your lane from someone else.

Like in Turkey, but many times more, there are sleeping policemen which come in the full range of sizes, heights, impact. All trucks and buses come to almost a complete halt for these, cars generally come close to a halt whereas there's only been a couple that the XT couldn't take at just off full speed. You do at least get some warning of a SP as the cars in front fan out so that as many as possible can ride over the SP at the same time so that someone can get an advantage. They will then, almost certainly, be the slowest vehicle thereafter causing everyone to overtake at inappropriate places.

"Fluid," would, I think, best describe it.

It is the worst driving I've experienced. I have been driven (but not driven myself) in Cairo and that's the only place where I can remember the sudden braking and swerving but even there I only remember it on the big roundabouts. Here it is everywhere. They say Tehran is worse though it's hard to imagine how.

BBC banned from here so footy updates from The Guardian as the poor Iranians only seem to get one night of European footy a week (ManU-Rangers).

There was a wedding here tonight which I think is the only time a woman is allowed to appear unshrouded (and showing a bit of cleavage?).

A quick note, btw, on the SMS "times". When I wrote the code the O2 SIM was reporting things as UK local time. I had a friend send me a text from India and it arrived with a Indian local time. My O2 card has continued to send in UK local time and this Irancell (operated by MTN, which anyone who's been isolated in a remote African mud village will recognise) also sends messages in UK local time. The idea was that you could tell that I was 3.5 hours ahead as I type. Except you can't and will have to belive me.